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It's not supposed to be like this...

this sex has regret written all over it latex and fake breasts this pornography has gotten boring I'm less than erect cuz there is just no mystery left whyyyyy? why, why do I expect something that lacks all respect when I turn my eyes away from the screen I see that you're just pretending pretending fishnets and regrets this sex is still sex I ask "are you wet?" you just look upset

when I was a kid always thought that I would make it big always thought that i'd be important something more than this now I'm 26 songs have never been radio hits albums never show on years best lists SOME KIND OF ARTIST that I turned out to be dreams like memories they only last as long as you hold on to them then they're gone dreams like memories well they only last as long as you hold on to them then they're gone. quarter life crisis my friends are having babies getting hitched buying new cars paying a mortgage I'm STILL DOING this.

I wa s ash am ed look a t the me ss I made shame it's a strange thing i wear it like a bright string tied around my pointer finger while I'm fingering my wife on the couch and as I pull out she shivers and I try to push it in her mouth she gags and tells me to wash my hands, take a shower and the shame pulls me away again I was ashamed Look at the mess I made there's a silence as i saunter toward the bathroom through the cur- through the curtain I inquire who she dreams of but when she tells me I grow uneasy but its e- but it- but it's exciting too and in the mirror I disappear I don't want to feel shame and blush at the sight of another pair of eyes looking into mine I want to compliment the world with no preconceived notions that there's a master plan to manipulate the situation And the shame pulls me away again... "...This Jesus of 'soft love' isn't the truth. The Jesus I serve Scourges his disciples. He doesn't just criticize and chastise them! Hebrew says, He Scourges us!"

cold feet sweep (yeah) dust up hardwood floors cat's in heat again rolling 'round the back door should I be wanting more? "do you want more?" can't wait bury the dead again (yeah) in the ground smell goes down it's not about forgiveness it's not about letting memories slip about being clean and cleaning up my mess about being clear "I'll clean up my old messes" (yeah) Electric heat creeps from the register in the corner Julie couldn't sleep so she smoked weed 'til it bored her I can't shake bury my head again in the blankets your hair is a mess (yeah) it's not about forgetfulness it's not about forgetfulness is this a love song? and does it matter? is this a love song? it doesn't matter

I spent the morning listening to famous music reading 'bout writers on the porch smoking cigarettes I drank a whole pot of coffee looked through a paper and the weather was perfect and what would they say about me at my eulogy? I'm afraid to look away I'm afraid you'll see my face is this a dream on a TV screen? underwater you can hear the screams camera's off but we keep pretending you think this life is never ending I am young I am young I am young for a man

loose hips useless with legs that lay bare my eyes glaze over and I think... "We're just parents now... That's it. That- that's everything that we are. Just a couple of roommates, hanging out, playing with children's toys all day." "It's not supposed to be like this. It is what it is. But what're you gonna do?" "Oh well." "It's not bad. It's ok."

there's a light on in the basement next door as I light up a cigarette on my front porch street lights feel like they're asking for more of whatever it is pumping through their core it's down on on on on down on on on Jewell Avenue once I heard a song all about a place so dark it scared everybody out under the floor boards a dying mouse and I know I know I know where to find that house house house it's down on on on on down on on on Jewell Avenue it's down on on on on down on on on Jewell Avenue

"Keep your electric eye on me babe" "Put your ray gun to my head" [Jan 11, 2016 David Bowie dead at 69 "It's gonna be a rough day." Ray said to me, as Moonage Daydream played from his pocket. "Yeah." I said, "It's gonna be a really rough day."] "Freak out." "Far Out" This is another song about the moon. Here we go. (hey, hey) moooooooooooooon hey it's the moon and it's out too soon so let's retire to the bedroom let's build a cocoon and talk about our ever pending doom because when we go out to the bar we just stand crammed in a corner talking shit about kids with their PBRs then make our way back to the car do do do do do do [Is it really bothering you so much that the truth is something that you're making up? (No.) So you sing another song about the moon, but the moon, you say its you asleep at noon phoning it in from the other side of the world. . . (You're not the moon.)You're not the moon, the moon is the moon, you're not the moon, the moon, is, the moon.] [I lived in Kalamazoo at the end of 2002 and did a bunch of mushrooms in my dorm room. I remember the moon. It seemed like a ruse and I felt confused. Worried that I was pissing my pants all the way down to my shoes. "Is this wet?" I'd ask. "Is my hand normal to you?" "Is that your real accent?" "What am I supposed to do?" What am I supposed to do here?" "Did I piss myself?" (Is this wet) "Is this pee?" "Do I Feel Wet?!"] the night was unusually bright with a super blue moon my friends they were drunk and getting high in the bathroom (and I said) and I said, "Who knew these were the days we'd look back on?" (The mooooooooon) but tonight I'm alone in an astronaut costume

going down to 22 again the second row the tables glow with young girls reflections I don't know where to go no place feels like home second one from the end maybe have a smoke I'll wet my throat maybe meet up with an old friend I don't know where to go no place feels like home so feed me greasy hani but don't don't leave I'll give you all of my money don't don't leave please she drops a plate at the bend it doesn't shatter double doors are like a ladder they lead me straight to heaven I don't know where else to go no place feels like home your love is an island your love isn't free your eyes are hungry and your heart is empty

Internet search: "This must be the place Talking Heads lyrics"

when I was a kid I always felt like I wasn't meant for this this being life, or whatever you want to call it I remember praying for cancer, or sickness, or something that would explain why I didn't fit in now I'm 34 it's New Years Eve and I'm crying on the floor curled up in a dog bed and I don't want to live anymore... [Wait. Wait. I'm not ready to sing this one. Let's just jump to the chorus. 1, 2, 3, 4.] dreams like memories they only last as long as you hold on to them but sometimes you stop holding on when I turned 30 I had a wife and house and a new born baby I went to see grandma there was no birthday party [I didn't know how much of my life was ruled by codependency at that time. It was just, like, there's a lot of shit going on. You're busy, you know? You got a lot happening. It's fine. Everything's good. We're better now. I'm 35. I'm making it. I'm sorry guys, I'm drunk. I've been drinking. (groan) I'm gonna release this record... soon. Real soon.It's been a while, but, I think it's time. It's time to... time to let it free. "If you love something set it free." Right? A-yo. Okay. Here we go. Let's button this up.]

I'm under the table with knock-off G. I. Joes I'm wearing my brother's clothes and I scrunch my face when I make the gun sounds (pew pew) now my guy's behind enemy lines and Steven's ready to strike from the other side now this is the first time that he's let me lead the ambush I can't let him down I can't let him down And when grandma calls us in from the kitchen 20 years, go on, you'll be back in Portland again and I'll regret the things that I hadn't said to him because now when we talk I feel a distance and it wasn't there back then no it wasn't there back then it's not supposed to be like this it's not supposed to be like this it's not supposed to be like this it's not supposed to be like this but it's ok that it is it's not supposed to be like this but it's ok that it is it's not supposed to be like this but it's ok that it is it's not supposed to be like this but it's ok that it is

Thank you. Thank you everybody...